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Vol. 8 No. 1, Jan/Feb 2006
Copyright 2006 by Wolf J. Rinke
mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com
http://www.WolfRinke.com
IN THIS ISSUE
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
2. BUILD POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM-SUCCEED FASTER PART III
3. SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
4. HUMOR BREAK
5. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
===================================================
INSIGHT BREAK
"Forgiveness does not get them off the hook, it gets you off the
hook that they put you on."
--Bertice Berry
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1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
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ADD TEN YEARS TO YOUR LIFE
In an attempt to find out what causes people to enjoy more healthy years
of life the U. S. National Institute of Aging sponsored a world-wide
study to identify areas where people live the longest. The three areas
were Sardinia, Italy where men reach age 100 at incredible rates; Okinawa,
Japan, where the longest lived people on earth reside; and Loma Linda,
CA where a group of Seventh-day Adventists achieve the status of longevity
champs in the U.S.
ACTION STEPS
Although each group makes very unique life-style choices they do share
a number of "best practices" that may also enable you live
a healthier and longer life:
--Don't smoke
--Put family first
--Be active every day
--Keep socially engaged
--Eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains.
And I would like to add my favorite from the Sardinia group:
--Drink red wine in moderation
Source: D. Buettner, "The Secrets of Long Life", National
Geographic, Nov. 05, pp. 2-26.
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2. BUILD POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM-SUCCEED FASTER PART III by Wolf J. Rinke,
PhD, CSP
===================================================
In the previous issue of this eNL (www.WolfRinke.com) you discovered
the first three strategies that will enable you to build your positive
self-esteem:
--Practice the Double Win
--Give Yourself Away
--Catch Others Doing Things Right. Here are the remaining four:
Set Your Own Internal Standards
Set your standards always just a bit out of reach, but not so far away
that you perceive them to be unattainable. And most importantly, use
yourself as your own "gold standard," against which you compare
your accomplishments. The trick here is not to try to be the best, but
rather to be YOUR best. Why? Because when you attempt to be the best
you will likely set yourself up for failure, stress, indigestion, and
maybe even ulcers. (Ulcers do not come from what you eat, but from what
is eating you.) Even though all human beings are endowed with the seeds
for greatness, we are not all endowed with the same seeds. Some of us
have far more natural abilities than others. For example, even though
I think I am pretty smart, I am rather dumb at the same time. Let me
explain. I am rather smart (whatever that means) if you compare me to
me. But if you compare me with Albert Einstein I'm pretty stupid. Fortunately
for me that is an illogical comparison, after all I'm not Albert Einstein
(lucky for me since he is dead), I am me. I can only build on my own
innate abilities. The more important question to ask is: "What
have you done to take advantage of and maximize your abilities? What
I'm saying is "don't waste your mental energies by comparing yourself
or wanting to be like others." No matter what you do, you will
never be like anyone else. (Don't you think it is strange that many
people who have straight hair spend a lot of money to get their hair
permed, while those who have curly hair have it straightened?)
Many of us struggle with this. I remember a rather attractive woman
who came up to me after one of my motivational presentations to ask
several questions and compliment me. She exclaimed, "Wow, what
a presentation. It was a tour de force. I really admire the way you
speak. In fact, I would give twenty years of my life to be able to speak
like you." I thanked her, chuckled, and answered, "Your estimate
is right on. That's about how much of my life I have dedicated to public
speaking." You see, we admire others for how well they do things
now, but we forget how long it has taken them to get to where they are.
Most of us want to be just as good, but we don't want to pay the price!
Instead of wishing you were like someone else, the trick is to build
on your own strengths. In fact, I consider this to be another key to
success. Every human being is a composite of strengths and weaknesses.
(Do you know what yours are?) Luckily for all of us, there are no perfect
people. Can you imagine how boring that would be? Learn from professional
athletes who gain satisfaction from being just a little better this
time than the last time, who persevere, and who, sooner or later, by
continually beating their own record, beat their opponents. No matter
how hard you try, you will never be like anyone else. So quit wasting
your abundant mental energies. Instead, accept that you are the most
valuable asset you will ever own. You are the only asset that belongs
to you that has the potential to truly appreciate. Most everything else
you own depreciates--your money, your car, your spouse (just kidding).
Accept Value Paid
According to Denis Waitley the best way to spot a winner is to see how
they respond to value paid. Always accept compliments with an unequivocal
and courteous "thank you." Don't be like the young lady who
upon being paid a compliment about her beautiful dress replied: "This,"
pointing to her dress, "I was going to give this to Goodwill."
Only losers have difficulty accepting value paid. Their level of self-esteem
prevents them from recognizing that they are in control of their lives
and that success is primarily a function of hard work and preparedness,
not good luck. I believe it was Napoleon Hill, author of the success
classic Think and Grow Rich, who defined good luck as "preparedness
meets opportunity." Never say "Shucks, that was nothing,"
because very few things in life are the result of only good luck or
karma. Instead, accept value paid with a sincere and courteous "thank
you."
Act and Look Your Best
"None of us will get a second chance to make a first impression."
This is no idle old wife's tale. For example, I recall reading about
a study in which a man went into various offices dressed rather casually.
He later visited a second set of offices that were similar to the first
set. This time, however, he was "dressed for success" in a
traditional high-quality business suit with all the trimmings. In each
case, his goal was to get the secretary to provide him with certain
confidential information. To control the independent variables, the
same man made all of the visits, and the type of offices, and the language
and approach used were standardized. Although I cannot recall the specifics,
I do remember that the results clearly demonstrated that when he was
well dressed, the gentleman was able to obtain the confidential information
much more frequently than when he was casually dressed. This finding
is further amplified by the fact that it takes roughly seven repetitions
to reverse an initial impression. This means that when you and I meet
for the first time, if I perceive you as being negative, you would have
to be on your best positive behavior for the next seven encounters before
I would revise my initial impression. This is compounded further by
the fact that most people tend to form a relatively stable impression
in about five seconds. I am sure some of you are saying that that's
not fair. I agree with you, but unfortunately, that's how we play the
game. Instead of bemoaning that the world is an imperfect place, I suggest
that you take advantage of this phenomenon and act and look your best
whenever you may come in contact with influential people.
Let Your Body Say Positive Things About You
One way that you can be sure to act and look your best at all times
is to let your body convey positive messages. Walk briskly, erect, and,
most importantly with a smile on your face. In one of my success seminars
I was challenged on this point by one of the attendees. Jane said, "How
can I behave like this when I'm depressed?" I asked Jane to come
up front to demonstrate how she walks when she is depressed. She walked
to the front of the room slowly, taking small shuffling steps, with
her head slightly bowed, and with an ever-so-subtle frown on her face.
I asked her to next demonstrate how she talks when she is depressed.
She answered that she talks in a whiney voice. I complimented Jane on
her excellent demonstration. Then I asked her to repeat this walk, but
this time I asked her to walk erect, with her chin up, her shoulders
back, and her chest out, to take purposeful steps with long strides,
and to put a big smile on her face. She did this very well. At this
point I said, "Jane, tell us how you feel now." She answered
in a much more positive voice that she felt much better. Your body,
your posture, and especially your face say a lot about you. If you make
the "decision" that you want to be depressed--that's right
it is your decision--your body will reaffirm that. Conversely if you
"pretend" repeatedly and convincingly that you feel good,
your body will reflect that. (Doubt it? Try jumping out of your chair,
Toyota commercial style, shouting: "I'm depressed!" I bet
you can't do it, because if you do it, you won't be depressed anymore.)
This is especially true if you learn to adopt one of the most powerful
success strategies of all times--SMILE. Smiling improves your "face
value" and communicates to all other human beings, regardless of
their language or nationality that you and they are okay. The other
benefit is that smiling is contagious. Try it on the grumpiest person
you meet to see if sooner or later you don't get a smile back. Smiling
also influences your posture. Check it out for yourself by standing
up, putting your chin on your chest, and trying to smile. (I do this
exercise with my funshop audiences, and you should see how funny they
look when they are grimacing like this. Don't gloat though--get a mirror
and see for yourself that you are not doing much better.) Now put your
chin up, stand up straight, and smile. (Check the mirror now. What is
your face telling the world now?) I think you will agree that this is
much better. Your body is a living, moving, multidimensional billboard.
Your "billboard" can advertise doom, gloom, and defeat or
hope, courage, energy, and success. It is your choice!
Source: Based in part on Chapter 3 of my book Make it a Winning Life:
Success Strategies for Life, Love and Business, Achievement Publishers.
Take advantage of my special offer that follows.
===================================================
3. SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
===================================================
Bestselling Hardcover BOOK: Make it a Winning Life: Success Strategies
for Life, Love and Business, by W. J. Rinke, $24.95. (Just ask and I
will be happy to sign it for you.)
"This book will energize, motivate and empower you."--Anthony
Robbins
"…helped me immeasurably."--Lou Holtz
FREE: Make It a Winning Life, Perpetual Desk Calendar, $12.95 value
Provides daily words of inspiration and easy to apply action steps to
help you succeed faster! A great gift any time of the year.
Both Book and Calendar--$24.95 + s/h. SAVE $12.95!
------------------------- Offer expires 3/1/2006 ---------------------------
To order log onto http://www.WolfRinke.com/miwlspecial.html
===================================================
4. HUMOR BREAK
===================================================
Recently I met a good friend who was apparently in a grumpy mood. I
asked him the customary "How you're doing?." He answered automatically,
"F-i-n-e."
Given that he was a good friend, I said: "Why don't you tell your
face!"
===================================================
5. HEAR WOLF HOWL--I MEAN SPEAK
===================================================
These full day seminars maybe open to you if your company is a member
of the Institute of Management Studies (IMS). Contact the chairperson
for specifics.
Achieve Peak Performance by Increasing Your Personal Effectiveness
3/6/06 Amsterdam, Giep Franzen, Amsterdam@ims-online.com
3/9/06 Scotland, Graeme Crawford, Scotland@ims-online.com
8/1/06 Philadelphia, Joe Paesani, Philadelphia@ims-online.com
Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel and Other Contrarian Ways to Improve Your
Leadership Effectiveness.
3/7/06 London, Mike Matthews, London@ims-online.com
3/10/06 Manchester, Gareth Morris, Mancherster@ims-online.com
Winning Management: Building a Peak Performance Workplace
8/22/06 Hartford, CT, Robert Kravits, Connecticut@ims-online.com
10/18/06 Atlanta, GA, Dennis Piehl, Atlanta@ims-online.com
===================================================
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
===================================================
Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP is an internationally recognized motivational
and management keynote speaker and seminar leader who delivers customized
presentations that combine story telling, humor and motivation with
specific "how to" action strategies that participants can
apply immediately to improve their personal and professional lives.
You can preview a live demo at www.WolfRinke.com. He is also a highly
effective management consultant, executive coach and author of 13 books
including: "Make It a Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life,
Love and Business" available at www.WolfRinke.com
To take advantage of Dr. Rinke's services contact us at 800-828-9653
or WolfRinke@aol.com
===================================================
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
==================================================
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