|
Vol. 7 No. 3, May/June 2005
Copyright 2005 by Wolf J. Rinke
mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com
http://www.WolfRinke.com
IN THIS ISSUE
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
2. HOW TO COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY--PART II
3. SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
4. HUMOR BREAK
5. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
===================================================
INSIGHT BREAK
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
--Stephen Covey
===================================================
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
===================================================
People are terrible communicators! (I'm hoping this is not news to
you.) Here are 13 reasons why:
1. PERCEPTUAL SELECTIVITY. People can understand only limited information
at one time.
2. EVALUATING THINGS and people as good or bad. A tendency that can
place others on the defensive.
3. IMPLICIT ASSUMPTIONS. Beliefs the communicator holds without being
fully aware of them.
4. LANGUAGE DIFFERENCES. Words mean different things to different people.
5. INADEQUATE RECEIVING. Too much sending, not enough listening.
6. EXCESSIVE KINDNESS. Reluctance to express negative information for
fear of damaging the relationship.
7. INADEQUATE FEEDBACK. Sender does not find out if message has been
received, acknowledged, and understood.
8. LOSS OR DISTORTION OF INFORMATION. Changes in meaning brought about
through serial communication.
9. FAILURE TO CONSULT. Tendency to avoid the input of persons who will
be affected by, or who are capable of, improving a decision.
10. GEOGRAPHIC FACTORS. Distance between organizational entities.
11. TASK SPECIALIZATION. Differences in jargon, training, and work focus
that impair understanding.
12. STATUS, POWER, AND AUTHORITY DIFFERENCES. Social factors lead to
mistrust between members and groups.
13. PRESSURE. Misunderstanding resulting from technological changes,
ex. E-mail overload, demands for increased productivity, and competition
for rewards.
ACTION STEPS:
See next section and the previous issue of this e-Newsletter.
SOURCE: W. J. Rinke, "Winning Management: 6 Fail-Save Strategies
for Building High-Performance Organizations," Achievement Publishers,
p. 129. (For more info. click here)
===================================================
2. HOW TO COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY--PART II
by Wolf J. Rinke, PhD, CSP
===================================================
In the previous issue of this eNewsletter (www.WolfRinke.com) you learned
three specific strategies that will enable you to communicate more effectively:
--Utilize Adult Language
--Accept 111 Percent Responsibility for Your Communication
--Listen Actively
Now let's look at five other techniques that will help you to communicate
like a PRO.
REALITY TEST
There is an old saying: "Don't assume anything; it makes an ass
out of u and me" (ass-u-me). Unfortunately, most of us assume that
words have meaning. They do not! The reality is that all of us speak
a different language because we all have different values, beliefs,
and life experiences that impact on how we interpret everything. In
my opinion, it is accurate to say that no one can ever totally understand
another! To improve your communication accuracy, I would like you to
get in the habit of reality testing. Any time you communicate with another
human being, especially in situations that are very important, I recommend
that you summarize your communication with these powerful sentences:
"Please tell me what you heard me say," or "Let me tell
you what I understand we've agreed to." Avoid at all cost the useless
question "Do you understand?" In most cases, admitting that
you do not understand is analogous to saying "Hey, I'm stupid;
explain it to me again."
EXPRESS YOURSELF IN POSITIVE TERMS
When we speak, we can say things negatively or positively. For example,
you can say, "I can't get it for you right now" or "I
will get it for you in five minutes"; "Don't litter"
or "Please put your trash in trash cans." In each case, both
statements say the same thing. However, research has demonstrated that
positively worded statements are one-third easier to comprehend than
their negative counterparts. The reason is that human beings are unable
to move away from the reverse of an idea. Instead, we move toward that
which we visualize in our minds. Don't believe it? Stop for a moment.
Now don't think of a green dinosaur. What did you just think of? It
was a green dinosaur, right? Take advantage of this phenomenon by taking
just a little extra time to figure out how you can express yourself
in positive terms.
STRIVE FOR WIN-WIN OUTCOMES
Always remember that there is absolutely no one who likes to feel like
a loser. So when you communicate with someone else, always be on the
lookout for issues that will be beneficial to both of you. For example,
if you are talking with a consultant, ask: "Jane, what type of
expertise do you have that my company might be interested in?"
When talking with one of your team members, use the following powerful
phrase: "How can I help you?" When you talk to one of your
customers, instead of saying "According to company policy you have
to . . ." use "What options can we think of that will . .
. " This attitude shows that you are interested in helping the
other party win. That person will then be more inclined to share empowering
information with you.
CONVEY INTEGRITY AT ALL TIMES
People prefer to communicate with people they can trust, rather than
those they have to second-guess. Be aware of self-defeating phrases
that some people use habitually without being aware of the implications.
For example, avoid saying "Let me be honest with you." If
you say that to me, I'm thinking: "What are you normally?"
or "Is this the only time? Everything you've told me before has
been a lie?" Here are four other phrases that are helpful to master.
They will be painful to express until you get comfortable with your
own fallibility, but they will enable you to thrive faster in these
rapidly changing times.
--"I don't know."
--"I've made a mistake."
--"I changed my mind."
--"I need your help."
MAKE THEM GLAD THEY COMMUNICATED WITH YOU
To turbocharge your communication effectiveness, pretend that the person
or persons you are communicating with have printed across their forehead
a big bold sign that reads "Make me feel important." This
phrase will remind you to always focus on the other person's needs.
Effective communication is first and foremost a helping activity. A
way to keep tabs on yourself during the communication process is to
ask yourself: What proportion of the time am I talking about myself?
As a rule of thumb, if you are spending more than 20 percent of the
time talking about yourself, you have "I" disease. (Get It?)
"I" disease is especially counterproductive when you are communicating
with someone for the first time. Remember, most people like to talk
about themselves. Let them. The more they do, the more you can learn
about their needs. And if you can meet those needs, they will have your
name and image positively imprinted in their mind's eye for many years
to come.
SOURCE: Based in part on Chapter 5 of my book, "Winning Management:
6 Fail-Save Strategies for Building High-Performance Organizations,"
Achievement Publishers. (For more info. click
here)
===================================================
3. SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
===================================================
Powerful 6 CD Album: "Winning Management: 6 Fail-Save Strategies
for Building High-Performance Organizations," by W. J. Rinke, $69.95.
FREE: Make It a Winning Life, Perpetual Desk Calendar, $12.95 value
Provides daily words of inspiration and easy to apply action steps
to help you succeed faster! A great gift any time of the year.
Both CD Album and Calendar--$69.95 + s/h. SAVE $12.95! (X111)
------------------------- Offer expires 7/15/2005 -------------------------
To order log onto http://www.WolfRinke.com/wmcalendarspecial.html
===================================================
4. HUMOR BREAK
===================================================
The following are supposedly taken from actual claims submitted to an
insurance agency. They prove once again that people are terrible communicators.
"I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at
the wheel and had an accident."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him."
"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
tree I don't have."
===================================================
5. HEAR WOLF HOWL--I MEAN SPEAK
===================================================
These full day seminars maybe open to you, especially if your company
is a member of the Institute of Management Studies (IMS). Contact the
Chairperson for additional information.
Winning Management: Building a Peak Performance Workplace
6/23/05 Dallas/Ft. Worth, Mike Godwin, dfw@ims-online.com
10/5/05 Houston, Gail Brichford, houstonims@aol.com
===================================================
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
===================================================
Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP is an internationally recognized motivational
and management keynote speaker and seminar leader who delivers customized
presentations that combine story telling, humor and motivation with
specific "how to" action strategies that participants can
apply immediately to improve their personal and professional lives.
You can preview a live demo at www.WolfRinke.com. He is also a highly
effective management consultant, executive coach and author of 13 books
including: "Make It a Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life,
Love and Business" available at www.WolfRinke.com
To take advantage of Dr. Rinke's services call 800-828-9653 or mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com
===================================================
7. PRIVACY STATEMENTS AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
==================================================
We will not make your name or e-mail address available to anyone. Period!
If this was forwarded to you and you would like to receive your own
FREE subscription click above.
|
