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Vol. 2 No. 4 September/October 2000 ############################################ IN THIS ISSUE 1. NEWS YOU CAN USE 2. HOW TO BUILD LASTING RELATIONSHIPS 3. HOW TO MAKE MONEY THE EASY WAY 4. SUCCESS ACTION STEPS 5. FREE STUFF AND SPECIAL OF THE MONTH 6. HUMOR BREAK 7. CONTACT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION ======================================================== INSIGHT BREAK "Knowledge gets you into the game. Passion gets you on the All Star Team." - Paul Counts ======================================================== 1. NEWS YOU CAN USE ======================================================== SENIORS WHO PRAY LIVE LONGER A six year study of 4,000 Christian men and woman 65 and older found that relatively healthy seniors who said they rarely or never prayed, meditated or read the Bible had about a 50% greater chance of dying compared to seniors who prayed at least once a month. (Those who prayed more often received no additional protection.) According to Dr. Harold Koenig of the Duke University Medial Center, one of the study's authors, prayer and meditation reduce stress and the production of damaging stress hormones such as adrenaline. Such a drop results in a number of health benefits such as developing a stronger immune response, which in turn causes the body to be able to fight off disease more effectively. ACTION STEP: Don't wait till you become old. Develop a stress reduction system that works for you now! Meditate, pray or use other calming techniques on a regular basis. Source: Journal of Gerontology, reported in USA Today, 6/29/00, p. D1 GET INTO THE ZONE All super achievers, in business, sports or life have developed the ability to visualize what they want and then to simulate in their mind the successful completion of the journey. Athletes such as Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong refer to this mental process as "being in the zone." It boils down to this: "When the body is brought to peak condition and the mind is completely focused, even unaware of what it's doing, an individual can achieve the extraordinary." ACTION STEP: The next time you work on an important project, make sure that you have the necessary skills, if not get them. Then create a mental picture of the successful outcome in the exquisite detail in your mind's eye. Get into the moment, experience yourself succeeding at this project. Feel how you feel when this project has been completed to perfection. See the smiling faces of your colleagues, supervisors and clients. Hear your boss complementing your on it's successful completion. Now re-play this "movie" over and over again, so that when you do the project it merely represents the execution of what you have successfully completed many times in your mind's eye. Source: U.S. News and World Report, 7/3/00, pp. 38-45. -------------------------------------------------------- *** NEW ** NEW ** WEB BASED TRAINING ** NEW ** NEW *** Now you can receive training the convenient and inexpensive way by enrolling on-line in a wide variety of courses, from personal to management development. Try it out for FREE today! You won't believe how easy and effective it is. Simply click on http://www.WolfRinke.com/mgttraining.html DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION, SUGGESTION OR A SUCCESS STORY? We are getting some great success stories from our subscribers, and would like to hear yours. Mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com. ======================================================== 2. HOW TO BUILD LASTING RELATIONSHIPS by Wolf J. Rinke, PhD, CSP ======================================================== Wife to husband of over 20 years: "Why don't you tell me you love me any more?" Husband: "I told you I love you the day we got married. If there is ever a change I let you know." It may be funny but it is NOT the way to stay happily married for the long-term. That's what a 32 year incredibly positive marriage taught me. And that's what was reinforced at a recent National Speakers Association annual meeting where I learned the secret to building lasting relationships in marriage, family, friendships and at work from relationship expert Dr. Gary Smalley. This secret is so effective that it is now taught in a mandatory pre-marriage course in a number of states. And in those states it has significantly reduced the divorce rate. But first lets take a look at what destroys relationships. Dr. Smalley referred to these as the four "relationship germs." According to his research these "germs" cause more than 90% of all marriages to fail. Germ #1. Belittle others because you feel superior. Let your significant other know that you are better than he/she is. You can communicate this with your actions, words and deeds. By far this is the most important relationship buster. So if you are tired of your spouse and want a divorce just start belittling your mate and you'll be divorced before you know it. And while we're at it, let me remind you that every time you belittle another you are telling that other person that your self-esteem is not okay. You see, people with high self-esteem routinely make other people look better than themselves. Germ #2. Looking for the negatives in others. Basically you focus your mental energies on the other person's weaknesses. And since all human beings have strengths and weaknesses you are bound to find many. The trouble is that once you find these weaknesses your selective perception will continue to confirm them. At the same time you will begin to treat positive perceptions as exceptions. In essence, you will confirm bad stuff and disconfirm the good stuff. Germ #3. Withdraw from an argument. Withdrawal is particularly destructive because it stops any negotiation or discussion dead in it's tracks. Although it is a good strategy to "cool off" it represents a lose-lose strategy unless one party is willing to pick up the pieces at a later time. You see, the only difference between salad and garbage is time. And if you let arguments fester they will become "garbage." Germ #4. Escalate an argument. A good way to get into a real fight is to fight fire with fire. This "eye for an eye" approach requires you to get down to the other persons level and insures that the meanest, nastiest, and most obnoxious party wins by decimating both parties sense of self-worth. The longer you keep it up the harder it will be to repair the damage. Destructive as these four may seem there is one strategy that single-handedly can diminish or overcome all four of these "relationship germs." Dr. Smalley calls this the "skill of HONOR." That is, you selectively focus on what is RIGHT about your significant other and let him/her know about it. Research has confirmed that the rate of divorce is inversely correlated with the "honor" each party bestows on the other. Lower the honor in a marriage and the divorce rate goes up. Increase the honor and it goes down. To practice this skill YOU should start honoring your significant other because, like money in the bank, you must make deposits before you can earn any interest. Here is how to honor your significant other and build lasting relationships: Step 1. Decide that the other person is very valuable. What is the difference between a Chevy and a limited edition Rolls Royce? They are both wheels, they both get you from point A to point B, they are both comfortable etc. The difference is your perception! You perceive that a Rolls Royce is more valuable. The reason, it is extremely rare and it costs more. What about another human being, like your spouse? Your spouse is unique. In fact there is not another human being in the whole wide world that is like him/her. Hence he/she is literally "priceless." Step 2. Compile a MVP (most valuable player) list about your significant others. Start right now to make a list about all the things you value in your spouse or anyone else you wish to form a strong relationship with. If you keep a journal dedicate several pages in your journal for this purpose. If you don't, purchase a small, blank, expensive mini-book in your local bookstore, and call it your MVP book. Label the first page: "Here is what I love and value about my spouse." Now begin the list and keep adding to it every time you discover anything else that fits the header. Make similar lists for other family members and critical team members. Any time you find yourself focusing on something negative about one of these people, open your MVP book and prove yourself wrong. Step 3. Tell your significant others how much you value them. Get in the habit of focusing your mental energy on the positive attributes of your significant others and then letting them know about it at least three times per day. It's what Ken Blanchard refers to as "catching people doing things RIGHT." Be sure to exceed this limit with your spouse and be sure to get creative. If you are out of town, send him/her an e-mail that says: "I love you because (excerpt one item from your MVP book)." Before leaving for work leave him/her a Post-it note on the door, and when coming home from a business trip bring him/her a bouquet of flowers or other thoughtful gift. If you run out of creative ideas just think of what you used to do when you were dating and replicate that behavior. The way I have been able to help married people who were on the verge of divorce is to reflect back to the time when they were dating and write down all the things that they used to love about the other party. Once each has this list in hand I remind them that these attributes are likely still present, (human behavior is relatively stable) however both parties have changed their perceptions about each other by focusing on the other party's weaknesses instead of their strengths. That selective perception process does not have to operate at the subconscious level. Raise it to the conscious level, replace the negative perception with a positive one, tell your spouse what you love about him/her, and you too will be able to build loving, positive relationships that last a lifetime. ======================================================== 3. HOW TO MAKE MONEY THE EASY WAY ======================================================== WANT TO EARN UP TO $600 WITH ONE PHONE CALL? Do you know of an organization that could benefit from a highly effective keynote speaker, seminar leader or organizational effectiveness consultant who knows how to improve the bottom line? Recommend Dr. Rinke to the decision maker, then send us his/her name, address, e-mail and phone number. We will do the rest. Upon completion of the engagement we will send you 10% of Dr. Rinke's fee! IT'S THAT SIMPLE! (Sorry, not available to employees of the hiring organization.) Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP is an internationally recognized motivational and management keynote speaker and seminar leader who delivers customized presentations that combine story telling, humor and motivation with specific "how to" action strategies that participants can apply immediately to improve the quality of their personal and professional lives. He is also a highly effective management consultant and executive coach. Call us at 800-828-9653 or mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com to ======================================================= 4. SUCCESS ACTION STEPS ======================================================== The following story was e-mailed to me from a friend. Enjoy the story and then TAKE ACTION! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, NOT YOUR PROBLEMS. Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem." The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed so they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die. "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he would not find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem." Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later. ======================================================== 5. FREE STUFF AND SPECIAL OF THE MONTH ======================================================== ### SPECIAL OF THE MONTH ### ONLY FOR SUBSCRIBERS ### Hardcover BOOK: Make It a Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life, Love and Business, by W. J. Rinke. (Makes a great gift!) Price: $24.95. ONLY $20.00. Plus FREE shipping. SAVE $9.45!!! ###### You must mention this offer when you order!! ###### ***** 100% UNCONDITIONAL MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. ***** Order NOW! Offer expires 10/15/2000. Call 800-828-9653 or http://www.WolfRinke.com/MIWL.html For FREE articles, inspirational messages and other money saving offers on books, audio and video tapes that will help you succeed FASTER visit our website: http://www.WolfRinke.com ======================================================== 6. HUMOR BREAK ======================================================== Single woman to her girlfriend: I don't need a husband: I have a dog that growls at me in the morning. A parrot that swears all day long, and A cat that stays out all night. ======================================================== 7. CONTACT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION ======================================================== Editor: Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP President, Wolf Rinke Associates, Inc. P.O. Box 350, Clarksville, MD 21029-0350 USA (410) 531-9280, Fax (410) 531-9282 For orders in the US (800) 828-WOLF (9653) Email: Mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com Website: http://www.WolfRinke.com If this was forwarded to you and you would like to receive your own FREE subscription mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com and type the word SUBSCRIBE MIWL in the subject box. To remove yourself from this mailing list, please type the word UNSUBSCRIBE MIWL in the subject box. PRIVACY STATEMENT: We will not make your name available to anyone. Period!
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