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MAKE it a
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Vol. 9 No. 5, September/October, 2007 IN THIS ISSUE =================================================== =================================================== LONELINESS SPEEDS THE AGING PROCESS =================================================== HARDCOVER BOOK: "Make it A Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life, Love and Business" (283pp) by W. J. Rinke $24.95. Make it a Winning Life--6 audio CD album--$69.95 PERPETUAL CALENDAR: "Make It a Winning Life Perpetual Desk Calendar."
$12.95 Order all three for $84.95 +s/h. You SAVE $22.90! 111% MONEY BACK GURANTEE: You risk absolutely nothing! If for any reason the book and CDs are not everything you expected, send them back to me and I will give you your money back. The perpetual calendar is yours to keep! Log onto www.wolfrinke.com/specialmiwlbkalcal.htm or call 800-828-9653. =================================================== In the previous eNewsletter (Issue 9-4) you found out what it takes to stay in love for the long term. Here is what to do when things fall apart. Unfortunately the people we love the most--our family and friends--are often the ones who get the most neglected. Perhaps it has to do with familiarity or with laziness. Or maybe it has to do with someone not being okay. A number of years ago you did not invite Uncle Joe to the party because you had been told that he was going to be out of town. Well he wasn't. Yet to this day, Uncle Joe has carried a grudge; you slighted him and he is not about to let you forget it. And to boot he is proud that he does not forgive people who slight him. Or maybe it has to do with someone enjoying wielding the power of carrying a grudge. Like Marcela's mother who was upset with her niece Monica because at one point in her life Monica had ignored her. (As best as we could reconstruct it, it was when Marcela's mother was ill with hepatitis and Monica did not visit her in the hospital. Never mind that this had happened so long ago that no one, including Marcela's mother, could really remember the specifics.) And even though Marcela worked hard to get her mother to forgive and forget (she even reconnected them with one another), her mother would not hear of it. In fact, Marcela's mother took that grudge to her grave when she died in December of 2000. The other thing that many people do to those they love is abuse them by being "open and honest"--or insensitive--depending on your point of view. My father has a knack for this. I still remember on one particular visit when he made a myriad of inconsequential and very hurtful comments to our daughter Nicole when she was about 10 years old. After he was through with his litany of put-downs that put tears in Nicole's eyes, he concluded by saying, "Someone has to tell you the truth. I know your parents won't do it. All they want to do is make you feel good." Think about it, would you talk to a stranger like you talk to family members, or worse, the way you talk to yourself? Unfortunately those comments often lead to hurtful feelings that result in fights and sometimes even permanent break-ups. Or maybe it is something more serious, like the bad feelings that arise from family tragedies, like distributing the estate of parents. No matter what, I believe that bad feelings or hate that separates you from a family member or friend is not worth the price. After all, you only have a few family members and friends, and any ill feelings that keep you apart take more away from you than anyone else. So here are four preliminary questions to address before you attempt to reconnect with your family and friends: 1. Evaluate the down side 2. See the situation through the other person's eyes. 3. Look inside yourself. 4. Realize that all people do the best they can with what they have. I'm convinced that most of the time, after you ask yourself these initial four questions, you will be ready to forgive. And even if you are not, do it anyway, in fact do it today. Better yet, do it right now. Why? Because it will make YOU stronger. Most people do not like to forgive. They get their ego involved, and they think that forgiveness will imply weakness. Actually the opposite is true. The person who forgives is the one who will gain strength and power. Setting yourself free from the other person's attempted control will nourish your soul. (Hey, that rhymes.) Anger and hate take away from you in a variety of different ways, and love and forgiveness set you free. (Think about it, there has to be a reason why loving and forgiving serves as the foundation of most major religions.) In the next eNewsletter you will discover 9 specific Action Steps you can take to re-connect with family and friends. Source: W. J. Rinke, Beat the Blues--How to Manage Stress and Balance Your Life, (CPE Home Study Course Approved for 28 CPEUs), Wolf Rinke Associates, Clarksville, MD, pp. 105-109, 2006, www.easyCEcredits.com =================================================== Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel: Innovative Strategies to Improve Leadership
Effectiveness. NOTE: I have other "in-house" presentations scheduled in the U.S.A., Canada and Europe. Please let me know if you are interested to preview me or bring me into your organization at reduced expenses when I'm scheduled to be in your area. That way we can let you know when I'm coming your way! =================================================== =================================================== =================================================== If this was forwarded to you and you would like to receive your own
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