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Vol. 10 No. 5, September/October 2008
Copyright 2008 by Wolf J. Rinke
mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com
http://www.WolfRinke.com
Feel free to forward this eNewsletter to others.
To get your own FREE subscription go to the end of this eNL.
IN THIS ISSUE
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
2. SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
3. MAKE-OR-BREAK NEGOTIATION STRATEGIES--PART II
4. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
5. HUMOR BREAK
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
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INSIGHT BREAK
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"Skill at inventing options is one of the most useful assets a
negotiator can have."
--Roger Fisher and William Ury
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1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
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WANT TO MAKE MORE MONEY?--JUST ASK!
Ninety percent of employers do not include all of the value they are
willing to offer for a position in the first offer.
ACTION STEPS
Remember, you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate.
So start to master the art and skill of negotiation now! (See paragraph
#3.)
Source: R. Pinkley, "Salary and Compensation Negotiation Skills
for Young Professionals," JADA Supplement 1, 107 (4): 2007, p.
S23.
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2. SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
===================================================
HARDCOVER BOOK: "Make it A Winning Life: Success Strategies for
Life, Love and Business" (283pp) by W. J. Rinke $24.95.
"Your book came at a critical time in my life and helped me immeasurably."
Lou Holtz, former Head Football Coach, University of Notre Dame
POWERFUL CD: "Positive Attitude: The Key to Peak Performance"
(73 mins) $19.95.
This powerful LIVE CD by yours truly provides you with fail-safe action
strategies that will enable you to live longer get sick less often and
succeed faster.
PERPETUAL CALENDAR: "Make It a Winning Life Perpetual Desk Calendar."
$12.95
This one-of-a-kind desk calendar gives you words of wisdom and inspiration
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the message into reality!
Order both book and CD--$44.90 + s/h and get the Desk Calendar ($12.95)
FREE! What a Bargain--You SAVE $12.95!
111% MONEY BACK GURANTEE: You risk absolutely nothing! If for any reason
the book and CD are not everything you expected, send them back to me
and I will give you your money back. The perpetual calendar is yours
to keep!
Log onto www.wolfrinke.com/specialmiwlpacal.htm
or call 800-828-9653.
Mention this ad when ordering by phone! Offer expires 10/15/2008.
===================================================
3. MAKE-OR-BREAK NEGOTIATION STRATEGIES--PART II
===================================================
In Part I of this article you learned why it's important to:
--Manage Your Perceptions
--Be Willing To Walk Away
--Know Your BATNA, WAP and ROSA
Now let's find out why it is vital for you to:
Negotiate Over Interests, Not Positions
Let's look at a father-daughter encounter. Come to think of it my daughter
Nicole and I had many similar challenges when she was little.
Father: "Drink your milk." (That's his position).
Daughter: "I don't like milk." (That's her position).
Of course, from here on it all goes down hill. So if the father is a
Tough Battler he might say: "I'm your father and you will listen
to me," or "I'm smarter than you," or "I'm wiser
than you" ad nauseam; "Now, dam it drink your milk, or you
will be grounded!" (Win-lose.)
If the daughter is a Tough Battler like Nicole, it might go something
like this: "I hate milk. If you make me drink it I will throw up."
Even though on the surface it might appear that the father has all the
power, it's likely that in this case the daughter will win, after all
you probably are not particularly keen to clean up her throw-up (win-lose).
Of course, you could compromise with your daughter. "I tell you
what, just drink half of your milk, and I'll forget you are being so
nasty to your old dad." (Lose-lose.)
If all else fails, you might bribe her: "If you drink your milk,
I will take you to the movies." (Of course, that is reinforcing
various undesired outcomes, such as: "If I rebel, good stuff happens.
So next time I can't get what I want, I'll just rebel.")
Putting those unanticipated outcomes aside, all of these approaches
will likely end up in either win-lose or lose-lose outcomes which neither
you nor your daughter are going to be particularly happy with.
Now let's take a look at how this might work if we focus on interests,
needs or wants instead of positions.
Father: "I understand you don't like milk. So please tell me what
you really want."
Daughter: "I want food that tastes good and milk just doesn't taste
good to me."
Father: "I appreciate that. Now let me share with you what I want.
I would like you to get food that is nutritious and high in calcium.
Why don't we take a moment and come up with a list of foods that meet
both of our needs." (That's separating option generation from decision
making. See the next section). At this point the two of you will probably
be able to come up with a long list of foods that meet both of your
objectives--food that tastes good, is nutritious and high in calcium--such
as cheese, ice cream, yogurt, pizza and the list goes on.
In the previous example we saw how the parties' egos became identified
with their position. Once that happens you have a new interest to satisfy--such
as saving face--which has nothing to do with your original interests.
As you discovered, the longer you attempt to reconcile positions the
less attention you will devote to addressing the real concerns, needs,
or wants of both parties. The result, it takes longer, is likely to
raise people's negative emotions such as anger, and is less likely to
generate a win-win outcome. Plus it will likely damage the relationship
between the bargaining parties. All of that is magnified if you are
dealing with a Tough Battler who starts off with an extreme opening
position.
Separate Option Generation from Decision Making
As you learned from the previous example most of us tend to focus on
two mutually exclusive outcomes--either you or I will get what we want.
If instead we learn how to get in the habit of engaging the brain power
of both parties, many not-so-obvious ideas can be generated that will
meet or exceed both parties' needs. In other words, if we separate option
generation from decision making we can almost always make the pie bigger,
and if we can't, then we can establish objective criteria before attempting
to reach an agreement (see the next section). Unfortunately we tend
to fall into the trap of skipping the option generation step because
most of us want to get the negotiation process over with and one way
to do that is to come up with the answer both of us can agree on as
fast as possible as we did in the car buying example in the previous
issue of this eNewsletter. (See http://www.wolfrinke.com/MIWLNEWSLETTER/miwl0708.htm)
At this point you might be saying: "That just doesn't make any
sense." For example, if you go back to the used car selling example,
all both parties are concerned with is price. Or is it? It is very likely
that both parties had other things that factored into the sale. For
example, if the buyer had said to the seller: "Before we talk about
price, tell me what you want out of this deal?" The seller might
have said: "I'm interested to sell the car now but keep it for
another two weeks because my daughters' new car won't be delivered until
then." She might also have said: "I would like to get cash
so I don't have to worry about a bounced check." Or she might have
said: "I love this car like my own child and I would really like
to sell it to someone who will take really great care of it."
The buyer on the other hand might have said: "I would like to make
sure I'm not buying a lemon; I would like a car that has been well taken
care of; I would like to drive it away today; I would like to deal with
someone I can trust"...and the list goes on. All of these may have
economic value to either the seller or the buyer and hence could have
been used to not only influence the purchase price of the car, but could
have resulted in both parties getting far more than just a good price--i.e.
getting a win-win outcome.
If All Else Fails Resort To Objective Criteria
You will of course encounter real fixed pie scenarios. For example,
if you have only one vacancy in your department and there are three
people applying, even after all the best negotiations in the world there
will still be two losers and only one winner. To improve negotiation
whenever you are involved in a true distributive negotiation process,
where one party must lose and the other win, it is wise to resort to
objective criteria such as standards, rules, independent mediators,
arbitration, flipping a coin, drawing straws or other forms of chance,
or any other criteria that produces a perceived fair outcome. The classical
example of this is the challenge of dividing one piece of cake between
two siblings. If you have children I'm sure you can identify with this
dilemma and may remember how much potential bickering can ensue. There
is of course a very elegant solution to that problem, which dates back
to biblical times, have one child cut the cake and the other choose
the piece she wants.
In the case of hiring a new employee, perceived fairness is enhanced
if you make the selection criteria and the selection process public.
There are other situations where it may be beneficial for both parties
to resort to objective criteria. Let's say for example, your best friend
is interested in purchasing your car. In this case, both of you express
a desire to pay a fair price and not engage in haggling because your
relationship is more important than getting the best possible price.
As a result, you both agree not to negotiate the price at all and instead
abide by the "Blue Book" value.
According to Fisher and Ury, authors of Getting to Yes. Negotiating
Agreement Without Giving In, there are three basic strategies that will
make resorting to objective criteria work:
1. Frame the proposal as a joint search for objective criteria.
In the case of selling your car to your best friend, you both decided
the "Blue Book" value would represent a "fair" price
for the car.
2. Reason and be receptive to the other person's reason as to which
standard is most applicable and should be used to arrive at a "fair"
outcome.
If you are selling your house you may propose to use an average sales
price of three similar houses that have sold in your neighborhood during
the past year as the "fair" price. The buyer however prefers
an average of three independent appraisals as a fair price. In this
case, it is important to be receptive not only to the proposal but also
the underlying reason for the proposal.
3. Don't yield to pressure, yield to principles.
Pressure may come in a variety of forms: bribes, side payments, threats
or a refusal to budge. If the other side uses these types of pressures,
ask him to tell you his reasoning behind his proposal, suggest legitimate
objective criteria and state why they represent a fair outcome to both
of you.
If the other party is unable to produce that evidence, stick to your
guns, and if that fails you still have the option to Walk Away.
Source: W. J. Rinke, Chapter 5 of "Win-Win Negotiation: Fail-Safe
Strategies to Help You Get More of What You Want," a 20 credit
pre-approved continuing professional education (CPE) self-study course
available from www.easyCPEcredits.com.
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4. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
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10/3/08 Copenhagen, DK. "Winning Management," In-House Seminar,
Toms Gruppen A/S.
12/4/08 Cedar Rapids, IA "Positive Attitude--The Key to Rediscovering
Your Professional Passion", Opening Keynote, IDA
NOTE: I have other "in-house" presentations scheduled in
the U.S.A., Canada and Europe. Please let me know if you are interested
to preview me or bring me into your organization at reduced expenses
when I'm scheduled to be in your area. That way we can let you know
when I'm coming your way!
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5. HUMOR BREAK
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After fishing all day and not even getting a nibble a discouraged fisherman
stopped by the fish store on his way home. "Throw me six of the
biggest whole fresh fish you have in the store," said the fisherman
to the clerk behind the counter.
"Why do you want me to throw them?" asked the clerk.
"Because I'm going to 'catch' them," answered the frustrated
fisherman. "I may be a lousy fisherman, but I'm not a liar."
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6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
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Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP is a highly effective management consultant and
executive coach who specializes in building peak performance organizations,
teams and individuals. He is the author of 14 books including "Make
It a Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life, Love and Business"
available at www.WolfRinke.com and an internationally recognized motivational
and management keynote speaker and seminar leader who delivers customized
presentations that combine story telling, humor and motivation with
specific "how to" action strategies that participants can
apply immediately to improve their personal and professional lives.
You can preview a live demo at www.WolfRinke.com.
To take advantage of Dr. Rinke's services contact us at 800-828-9653
or WolfRinke@aol.com
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7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
==================================================
We will not make your name or e-mail address available to anyone. Period!
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