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Vol. 2 No. 6 November/December 2000 ############################################ IN THIS ISSUE 1. NEWS YOU CAN USE 2. SEVEN STRATEGIES TO BEAT THE HOLIDAY BLUES 3. SUCCESS ACTION STEPS 4. FREE STUFF AND HOLIDAY SPECIAL 5. HUMOR BREAK 6. CONTACT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION ======================================================== INSIGHT BREAK The three great requirements for a happy life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. — Joseph Addison ======================================================== 1. NEWS YOU CAN USE ======================================================== BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR Removed at the request of family member. Source: The Washington Post, 10/28/00, pp. A1 & A21
NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND LIVE LONGER People who have friends live longer and happier lives. A recent study at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke's Medical Center in Chicago, of 2,800 people 65 and older found that those "who had more friends were less likely to become disabled and more likely to recover if they did suffer a period of disability." Similarly, a larger study (11,000 people) at the UCLA School of Medicine found that "those with no ties to others were two to three times as likely to die as those with bonds to spouses, friends, relatives, churches and other organizations." ACTION STEPS: 1. Get together with friends once a week for cards, golf, or some other pleasurable activity. 2. Be there for your friends during the good times—birthdays, weddings etc. and the bad—hospitalization, funerals etc. 3. Stay in touch with your friends on an ongoing basis via phone, e-mails or letters. 4. Take the initiative. We're all too busy. Pick up the phone and get together with friends now. The quality of your life depends on it! (For additional strategies see the previous issue of this eNL.) Source: Time, 10/13/2000, pp. G1-G3.
WHAT CENTENARIANS HAVE IN COMMON You guessed it-a sense of optimism and humor. They also love to learn (a surprising number of centenarians play a musical instrument and speak at least a second language). Most importantly they "approach life optimistically. Nueropsychiatric profiles show healthy 100-year-olds are remarkably low in neuroticism, a tendency to brood or dwell on things. Though their lives aren't free of stress, they react to it with resilience and humor." ACTION STEP: Go with the flow, take yourself less seriously, laugh, become a voracious life-long learner and look for the good stuff in everyone and everything! Source: Wall Street Journal, 1/14/00, p. B1. -------------------------------------------------------- *** NEW ** NEW ** WEB BASED TRAINING ** NEW ** NEW *** Now you can receive training the convenient and inexpensive way by enrolling on-line in a wide variety of courses, from personal to management development. Try it out for FREE today! You won't believe how easy and effective it is. Simply click on http://www.WolfRinke.com/mgttraining.html
DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION, SUGGESTION OR A SUCCESS STORY? We are getting some great success stories from our subscribers, and would like to hear yours. Mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com.
======================================================== 2. SEVEN STRATEGIES TO BEAT THE HOLIDAY BLUES by Wolf J. Rinke, PhD, CSP ======================================================== Tis the season to be jolly ... Noooot! At least not for lots of folks. For many the holidays are the season to be melancholy and sad. For others its more serious, serious enough that, statistically, more people die in the Western World the day after Christmas than at any time of the year. According to the National Institute of Mental Health and the American Psychiatric Association (www.viahealth.org) many people experience symptoms of the holiday blues which may include: - headaches - inability to sleep or sleeping too much - changes in appetite causing weight loss or gain - agitation and anxiety - excessive or inappropriate feelings of guilt - diminished ability to think clearly or concentrate - decreased interest in activities that usually bring you pleasure such as food, sex, work, friends, hobbies or entertainment. Before we talk about what you can do to beat the holiday blues, lets make sure that you are not suffering from something far more serious.
HOLIDAY BLUES VERSUS DEPRESSION You need to seek professional help if you suffer from one of the following NEARLY EVERY DAY, ALL DAY, FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS: - loss of interest in the things you used to enjoy - feeling sad, blue or down in the dumps In addition, people who are depressed also experience at least three of the following symptoms: - feeling slowed down or restless and unable to sit still - feeling worthless or guilty - increased or decreased appetite and weight - thoughts of death or suicide - problems of concentrating, thinking, remembering or making decisions - trouble sleeping or sleeping too much - loss of energy or feeling tired all of the time. If you are experiencing the symptoms outlined above nearly every day, all day for at least two weeks you are suffering from a major depressive disorder, not the holiday blues! This is a medical disorder that requires medical attention! On the other hand if you are experiencing the holiday blues take the following actions and make this a truly joyous season:
MANAGE EXPECTATIONS When are children most excited? About a week before the holidays or right after they have ripped all the presents open? The former, of course. Just like children, many of us also experience a feeling of let down when the hustle and bustle of the holidays wind down. The reason is that all of our mental and physical energies have been occupied by all the things that needed to get done. And now that it is over, you experience a sense of disappointment and the blues kick in. To combat this phenomena start as soon as possible on a new project or a new goal, anything to look forward to. For example, you and your spouse may want to start planing your summer vacation.
GIVE YOURSELF AWAY If you have to be away from your loved ones over the holidays I recommend that you give yourself away. For example you may wish to volunteer to help serve a holiday meal at a shelter for the homeless. Or visit your local nursing home and talk with an elderly person in need of companionship. You may also wish to commit random acts of kindness. To do this right you must do something for someone else without expecting anything in return.
MINIMIZE THE NEGATIVES If the holidays bring you together with people who are suffering from "stinking thinking" make sure that you minimize the time that you are together with them. For example instead of staying at the relatives house, stay at a local hotel. Or build in some other activities that give you a legitimate reason to minimize the time to be with those you don't care to be with. That way you can carve out some positive re-energizing time.
CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY It was Abraham Lincoln who said: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." You see happiness is a state that you and only you control. So don't wait for others to give you happiness. Make a choice to be happy and then make it happen! One of the best ways to make this happen is to learn to get pleasure from people, not things. Create the opportunity to spend the majority of your available time with the people you love and deeply care for. That's what will give you the most powerful joy. If you want to supplement it with things, learn to get pleasure from little things. (How? See the SUCCESS ACTION STEPS portion of this eNL.)
MANAGE STRESS To deal with the stresses of the holiday season, master the most powerful and yet simple stress control system of all time: - Change the changeable - Accept the unchangeable - Remove yourself from the unacceptable
DECREASE CONFLICT Whenever you are in a situation that seems to be moving in the direction of conflict, simply and sincerely say: "You are right about that." The primary reason that we have a "need" to be right is to feed our ego, and feeding your ego disempowers you. To insure that you are not sounding like a parrot, use these derivations: "That's an interesting perspective." "I have never thought of it that way." "I see what you mean."
HAVE "PLASTIC SURGERY" If overspending is a critical issue for you, start by having "plastic surgery." Get rid of your credit cards, or at least put them away for the holidays. Establish a holiday budget in advance. Make up a gift list that insures that you stay within the budget. Avoid keeping up with the "Jonses." You won't be able to, plus it does not matter. Remember you can't buy love, so don't even try! Want to do something super special for that special someone? Make a gift yourself! For example, write a beautiful poem, sign it and put in a frame. It will be more appreciated than even the most expensive gift you can buy! (Also take a look at the FREE STUFF AND HOLIDAY SPECIAL section of this eNL for a super unique gift that every one will love. It is inspirational, will keep on giving forever and yet is inexpensive.) ======================================================= 3. SUCCESS ACTION STEPS ======================================================== The following was e-mailed to me. I've changed it a bit to reflect my philosophy. Enjoy and then TAKE ACTION!
The Sculptor's Attitude I woke up early today, excited because I get to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or... I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or... I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or... I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or... I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or... I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or... I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or... I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or... I can eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich morsels of new knowledge.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day it will be!
So choose to MAKE it a GREAT DAY every day!
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For FREE articles, inspirational messages and other money saving offers on books, audio and video tapes that will help you succeed FASTER visit our website: http://www.WolfRinke.com ======================================================== 5. HUMOR BREAK ======================================================== Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
======================================================== 7. CONTACT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION ======================================================== Editor: Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP President, Wolf Rinke Associates, Inc. P.O. Box 350, Clarksville, MD 21029-0350 USA (410) 531-9280, Fax (410) 531-9282 For orders in the US (800) 828-WOLF (9653) Email: Mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com Website: http://www.WolfRinke.com If this was forwarded to you and you would like to receive your own FREE subscription mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com and type the word SUBSCRIBE MIWL in the subject box. To remove yourself from this mailing list, please type the word UNSUBSCRIBE MIWL in the subject box. PRIVACY STATEMENT: We will not make your name available to anyone. Period!
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