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Vol. 7 No. 6, November/December 2005
Copyright 2005 by Wolf J. Rinke
mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com
http://www.WolfRinke.com
IN THIS ISSUE
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
2. BUILD POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM--SUCCEED FASTER PART II
3. SPECIAL HOLIDAY GIFT--FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
4. HUMOR BREAK
5. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
===================================================
INSIGHT BREAK
"People are reflections of you. Whatever you love or hate about
others is what you love or hate about yourself."
--Wolf J. Rinke
===================================================
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
===================================================
DRINKING TOO MUCH WATER MAY KILL YOU
According to a consensus statement of the 1st International Exercise-Associated
Hyponatremia Consensus Development Conference, Cape Town, South Africa,
2005, excessive water consumption during exercise can lead to hyponatremia
a condition caused by hazardously low sodium levels brought on by drinking
too many fluids during prolonged exercise. Low sodium levels may cause
bloating, nausea, vomiting and headache. In more severe cases it may
lead to disorientation, seizures, breathing problems and in the most
extreme cases even death.
ACTION STEP
Avoid drinking more water than you lose in sweat and urine, which is
best accomplished by drinking only when you are thirsty.
Source: Clinical Journal of Sport Medicine. 15(4):208-213, July 2005.
===================================================
2. BUILD POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM--SUCCEED FASTER PART II
by Wolf J. Rinke, PhD, CSP
===================================================
In the previous issue of this eNL (www.WolfRinke.com) you learned how
to assess your own level of self-esteem and discovered why it is important
to:
--take advantage of the secret to success
--accept 100 percent responsibility for your life
--use positive affirmations
In this issue I will present you with three specific strategies that
will enable you to build your positive self-esteem:
PRACTICE THE DOUBLE WIN
Practicing the double win, which maintains that ultimately if you win,
I win, has an especially positive potential. Most people see life as
a fixed pie or zero-sum notion (as I did until I taught myself otherwise).
They assume that for them to get something, someone has to give something
up. They focus on one or two obvious solutions when most of the time
there are literally hundreds of options. To find those options, however,
requires you to change the way you think and behave. It requires you
to develop a new habit of working together to defeat the problem instead
of the other party. It requires you to shift from win-lose thinking
to problem solving. There are many examples of this paradigm shift and
the positive results it will have for you. A husband and wife have had
a particularly busy week and want to reward themselves with a special
treat. She says, "I want to go to the theater." He says, "I
just want to have a leisurely dinner and relax." Two obvious solutions,
perceived as a fixed pie. "If we go to dinner I have to give in,
and he always gets his way," thinks the wife. "If we go to
the theater I have to give in, and she is already so bossy," thinks
the husband. Both are using their abundant mental energies to defeat
the other person. Instead, they could find out what the other person
really wants and then use their mental energies to mutually generate
as many options as possible that meet both of their needs. In a win-win
mode, they would express themselves using "I" language. The
wife would say, "I want to be entertained." The husband would
say, "I want to relax." If they put their heads together to
generate ideas that meet both of their needs, they would probably come
up with many options, including dinner-theater, a real win-win outcome,
or dinner first, then a comedy club, or a catered dinner at home and
a trip to the movies.
GIVE YOURSELF AWAY
Selflessly giving yourself away, even in small ways, will make you feel
good about yourself and will help you build your self-esteem. There
are many treasures that you can give away, including your expertise;
we all have a skill, competence, or ability that will help others. But
there are many intangibles that can make a big difference in people's
lives as well. These include kindness, active listening, genuine interest,
loyalty, courtesy, tolerance, a positive attitude, love, and appreciation.
Dispensing liberal doses of all of these will not take anything away
from you nor will it hurt you. Here are several inexpensive ways that
you can try to see if it will work for you. At the next opportunity
hold the door open for someone else, let someone into the lane in front
of you while driving; if you feel compelled to use sign language while
driving, make it positive sign language--wave at the other driver instead
of giving him the digit; pick up something that someone has lost and
return it before looking at it to see how valuable it is; distract a
small child that is giving his parent a hard time at the supermarket
checkout counter; smile at others as they pass you by; express empathy
to a person who is serving you; make peace with your enemies; and compliment
someone you envy. All of these will build confidence in yourself because
nothing builds your self-esteem more effectively than building the self-esteem
of others. Actions like these will also restore your positive perception
of human nature, because life is like a mirror, in the long run you
get back what you give. In fact, you will get back more than you give
because giving yourself away is just like money in the bank. It will
pay you interest and dividends.
Abide by the following rules to give yourself away effectively:
--speak from the heart, not the head
--never fib or make up something
--mean what you say or don't say it at all
--walk your talk
--do it now
--do it first (don't wait for the other person to start)
--do it without expecting anything in return.
The reason for these rules is that people, regardless of their level
of education, are extremely street-smart. If you do not mean what you
say, they will know that you are not sincere. Plus people pay a lot
more attention to your behavior than your words, so mean what you say
and practice what you teach.
CATCH OTHERS DOING THINGS RIGHT
As a manager, I used to concentrate on people's weaknesses, generally
assuming that people were lazy and wanted to get away with doing as
little as possible. Because people were basically "no good,"
I had to supervise them closely, making sure that they did things the
way I wanted them done. And, if they did not comply, I was quick to
point out what they had done wrong. Because people see themselves the
way others see them (psychologists refer to this as the looking-glass
theory), and because it is not possible for others to consistently do
things exactly the way I would do them, I set people up for failure
before they ever started. Failing makes people feel demoralized, depressed,
and devalued and lowers their self-esteem. My employees' performance
of course continued to further diminish and before I knew it, they had
fulfilled both my self-fulfilling prophecy and their own. And so, I
was "right" again. Just as I suspected, they were indeed "no
good."
Once I learned to focus my abundant mental energies on catching others
doing things RIGHT, I began to reverse this destructive cycle. What
I found, contrary to my earlier beliefs, was that most people want to
do a good job and are trustworthy and dedicated, provided that is what
is expected of them and they are treated and rewarded accordingly. This
change came about not because of other people, but because I took ownership
of my actions, recognizing that most people deliver in the long run
what I expect from them. Now I make it a practice to treat all people
as if they are winners, team members, and adults. I continue to operate
under that belief until they prove me wrong. (If this stuff gets you
excited read my "Winning Management" book-- www.WolfRinke.com.)
Whatever you do, however, do not limit your catching others doing things
right to work. Apply it generously whenever you can find an opportunity.
Why? Because one of the best ways to raise your self-esteem is to raise
someone else's self-esteem! Make that important positive call to one
of your friends, say the important positive words to your key employees,
and find something to praise your children about. Tonight, when you
kiss your children good night, tell each of them how happy you are to
be the proud parent of such a "dynomite" child. Don't forget
to catch your spouse doing something, anything, right, and then tell
him or her how fortunate you are to be married to such an exceptional
human being. Whatever you do, remember to do it now because a positive
thought kept to yourself is not worth anything.
Look for the next issue of this eNL to discover four other strategies
that will enable you to build your positive self-esteem:
--set your own internal standards
--accept value paid
--act and look your best at all times.
--let your body say positive things about you.
Source: Based in part on Chapter 3 of my book "Make it a Winning
Life: Success Strategies for Life, Love and Business", Achievement
Publishers. Click here for more info www.WolfRinke.com.
==================================================
3. SPECIAL HOLIDAY GIFT--FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY
===================================================Get your holiday
shopping done early with this one-of-a-kind holiday gift that will save
you time and money!
It's a great way to say thanks to all the people who support you all
year long-team members, co-workers, friends and family.
It is a universal gift that everyone will LOVE. It will keep on giving
for years to come! It's inexpensive! It's totally unique - there is
no other gift quite like it! What is it? It's my "Make It a Winning
Life Perpetual Desk Calendar."
This unique perpetual calendar provides words of inspiration and wisdom
every day of the year! PLUS easy to apply action steps to help make
the message a reality! Best of all at the end of the year, turn it over
and use it again, and again. Truly a unique gift that keeps on giving
... forever!
PLUS in the spirit of the holidays I will include my LIVE "Positive
Attitude" Audio CD for FREE, with orders of 4 or more calendars.
** 4 Calendars plus my Positive Attitude CD for ONLY $30.00 **
Regular Price $51.80+$19.95 for the CD. You SAVE $41.75
You risk absolutely nothing! If for any reason the perpetual calendars
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Log onto www.wolfrinke.com/holiday.html or call 800-828-9653. Mention
this ad when ordering by phone! Offer expires 1/15/2006.
===================================================
4. HUMOR BREAK
===================================================
A LESSON IN HUMILITY
If you can...
--start your day without caffeine,
--always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
-- resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
-- eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
-- understand when others are too busy to give you any time,
-- overlook it when those you love take it out on you
-- never correct others,
-- resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
-- face the world without lies and deceit,
-- conquer tension without medical help,
-- relax without booze,
-- have no prejudice against creed, color or politics,
Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.
-Anonymous
===================================================
5. HEAR WOLF HOWL--I MEAN SPEAK
===================================================
These full day seminars maybe open to you, especially if your company
is a member of the Institute of Management Studies (IMS). Contact the
Chairperson for additional information.
Achieve Peak Performance by Increasing Your Personal Effectiveness
3/6/06 Amsterdam, Giep Franzen, Amsterdam@ims-online.com
3/9/06 Scotland, Graeme Crawford, Scotland@ims-online.com
8/1/06 Philadelphia, Joe Paesani, Philadelphia@ims-online.com
Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel and Other Contrarian Ways to Improve Your
Leadership Effectiveness.
3/7/06 London, Mike Matthews, London@ims-online.com
3/10/06 Manchester, Gareth Morris, Mancherster@ims-online.com
Winning Management: Building a Peak Performance Workplace
8/22/06 Hartford, CT, Robert Kravits, Connecticut@ims-online.com
10/18/06 Atlanta, GA, Dennis Piehl, Atlanta@ims-online.com
===================================================
6. ABOUT THE EDITOR
===================================================
Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP is an internationally recognized motivational
and management keynote speaker and seminar leader who delivers customized
presentations that combine story telling, humor and motivation with
specific "how to" action strategies that participants can
apply immediately to improve their personal and professional lives.
You can preview a live demo at www.WolfRinke.com. He is also a highly
effective management consultant, executive coach and author of 13 books
including: "Make It a Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life,
Love and Business" available at www.WolfRinke.com
To take advantage of Dr. Rinke's services contact us at 800-828-9653
or at WolfRinke@aol.com
===================================================
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
==================================================
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