|
Home
About Dr. Rinke
Keynotes
Seminars &
Workshops
Personal
Development
Management
Development
Team Building
Consulting
Executive
Coaching
Client Comments
Client List
MAKE it a
WINNING Life
Products
WINNING MANAGEMENT
Products
To Contact Us
|
Vol. 9 No. 6, November/December 2007
Copyright 2007 by Wolf J. Rinke
mailto:WolfRinke@aol.com
http://www.WolfRinke.com
Feel free to forward this eNewsletter to others.
To get your own FREE subscription click above.
IN THIS ISSUE
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
2. A HOLIDAY GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING AND GIVING . . .
3. HOW TO RECONNECT WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS--PART II
4. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
5. A HEART-WARMING STORY FOR THE HOLIDAYS
6. HUMOR BREAK
7. ABOUT THE EDITOR
8. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
===================================================
INSIGHT BREAK
===================================================
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly."
--Unknown; for more, see the Friends story in section 5
===================================================
1. NEWS YOU CAN USE
===================================================
BEING OVERWEIGHT MAY EXTEND YOUR LIFE
Just in time for the holidays a bit of good news for all of us who carry
around a few extra pounds. According to analysis of government data
of 2.3 million US adults, researchers from the Center for Disease Control
found that being overweight (BMI 25-<30), but not obese (BMI>30),
was associated with an increase in mortality from diabetes and kidney
disease, but not from cancer and heart disease. In fact the researchers
reported that being overweight protected against all other causes of
death, such as injuries, tuberculosis, emphysema, Alzheimer's and pneumonia.
The bottom line: Being overweight resulted in an increase of nearly
16,000 deaths from diabetes and kidney disease while it reduced the
mortality rate by 133,000 from all other causes.
Personal observation: "Superwoman"--my sweetheart of 39 years--
tells me that she's known this all along because a Polish saying maintains
that: "By the time the fat one becomes skinny, the skinny one is
dead."
Source: K. M. Flegel et al. "Cause-Specific Excess Deaths Associated
with Underweight, Overweight, and Obesity" Journal of the American
Medical Assoc. 11/7/07, Vol. 298, No. 17, pp. 2028-2037; http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/short/298/17/2028
===================================================
2. A HOLIDAY GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING AND GIVING . . .
===================================================
I'd like to help make your holiday shopping easier by offering you a
one-of-a-kind holiday gift that will save you time and money!
It is an ideal gift for loved ones, friends, employees and co-workers.
It is a universal gift that everyone will LOVE and benefit from!
It will keep on giving for years to come!
It can be given at any time of the year!
It's inexpensive!
It's totally unique - there is no other gift quite like it!
What is it?
It's my Make It a Winning Life Perpetual Desk Calendar
This wonderful calendar provides words of inspiration and wisdom every
day of the year! PLUS easy to apply action steps to help make the message
a reality! Best of all, at the end of the year, turn it over and use
it again, and again...
******** 4 Calendars for ONLY $30 +S/H ******************
***** Regular Price $51.80 --You SAVE $21.80 *************
100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE: You risk absolutely nothing! If for any
reason the calendars are not everything you expected, send them back
and I will give you your money back.
Log onto http://www.wolfrinke.com/specialpc.htm or call 800-828-9653.
===================================================
3. HOW TO RECONNECT WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS--PART II
Wolf J. Rinke
===================================================
In the last issue of this eNewsletter (9-5) we talked about four questions
to address prior to reconnecting with family and friends:
1. Evaluate the down side
2. See the situation through the other person's eyes.
3. Look inside yourself.
4. Realize that all people do the best they can with what they have.
Now let's look at 9 specific Action Steps to take it to the next level:
1. Make the First Move
Don't wait for the other person. Instead, live by the axiom: If it is
to be it is up to me. (The only exception is if you are in a toxic or
abusive relationship.) But what to do, you ask? Anything! Write a letter,
an e-mail or make a call, but do it now. Most rifts have been going
on for much too long. What if there is no response from the other party?
Wait for a comfortable period of time, and try a different medium. If
you wrote a letter and got no response, make a call. After all, time
has a way of healing virtually all wounds.
2. Take Ownership
In your initial move don't blame, don't defend and don't dredge up old
issues. Get the conversation started with something like: "It's
been a long time that we have spoken, and I believe that whatever happened
in the past is not worth keeping us apart. I would really appreciate
if we could get together and renew our relationship."
3. Meet in Public
For your initial meeting, get together in a comfortable but neutral
place, perhaps in a cozy coffee shop or quiet restaurant. (I suggest
that you have your initial meeting in a public place. People tend to
act more civilized in public.)
4. Make Small Talk
Talk about anything except the past. Ask yourself: "How would I
behave, what would I say and what would I do, if this were a stranger."
5. Revisit the Past
After "breaking the ice" ask the other party to give his interpretation
of what happened or what caused the feud. If he can't really remember,
ask him for a commitment to go on from here. If he is still angry, let
him vent and then agree with him. For example, you might use what I
consider the all-time most powerful conflict resolution phrase: "You
are right about that." (Try it in any situation that appears to
be spinning out of control. What you will find will amaze you. It literally
makes any type of conflict evaporate. It is so powerful that Marcela
and I no longer even use the five words, we just hold up our hand with
all five fingers extended.) Or express agreement in any other way you
wish. You might say, "I see why you feel that way;" or "I
can understand why you are upset." (The words are not important
as long as you express agreement.) Then offer your commitment to let
bygones be bygones and start over again.
6. Find Something--Anything--To Agree On
If that does not let the "hot air out of the balloon" find
something else, no matter how small, to agree on. Even if the hurt is
still too raw, you can at least agree to disagree, and make a commitment
to meet again in 6 months to re-evaluate your feelings.
7. Don't Seek Perfection
This is one of Superwoman's favorite mantra, and it certainly applies
to this situation. (Have you ever noticed that when you work hard to
get something perfect it often backfires and falls apart instead? So
Marcela believes that most of the time, good is good enough.) Consider
the first step a success as long as you have started the dialogue. Give
the healing process time. Remember you have been feuding for many years
and it will take time to repair the relationship.
8. Keep the Process Moving
No matter how discouraging or encouraging take it upon yourself to keep
the process moving.
9. If All Else Fails . . .
Forgive yourself if despite all of your initiatives the other party
chooses not to make up. Remember, "some people love to be miserable--don't
take it away from them." Whatever you do, avoid taking ownership
of other people's negative emotions or behavior. Be kind to yourself--you
did all you could. Forget as best as you can and get on with your life.
Source: W. J. Rinke, Beat the Blues--How to Manage Stress and Balance
Your Life, (CPE Home Study Course Approved for 28 CPEUs), Wolf Rinke
Associates, Clarksville, MD, pp. 110-112, 2006, www.easyCEcredits.com
===================================================
4. A HEART-WARMING STORY FOR THE HOLIDAYS
===================================================
FRIENDS
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class
walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying
all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home
all his books on Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend
planned--parties and a football game with my friend's. I shrugged my
shoulders and went on.
As I was walking I saw a bunch of kids knocking all his books out of
his arms and tripping him so hard that he fell in the dirt. His glasses
went flying, and landed about ten feet away from him. He looked up and
I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So,
I jogged over as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw
a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys
are jerks. They really should get lives.' He looked at me and said,
'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face--a smile that showed
real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. It turned
out that he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had previously gone to a private school. I would have never
hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home,
and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play
a little football with my friends. He said yes and we hung out all weekend,
and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I and my friends liked him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books
again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are going to really build some
serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! 'He just laughed and
handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became
best friends.
At graduation Kyle was the valedictorian of our class. I teased him
all the time about being a nerd, but I was so glad it wasn't me who
had to get up there and speak.
On graduation day I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys
that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually
looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I and all the girls loved
him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could
see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back
and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one
of those looks--the really grateful one--and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 'Graduation
is a time to thank those who helped you make it through the tough years--your
parents, your teachers, your siblings, and maybe a coach. But mostly
your friends...I am here to tell you that being a friend to someone
is the best gift you can give anyone as you'll discover from this story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the
first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He
talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have
to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me
and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved
me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd
as this handsome, popular boy told us about the worst day in his life.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture
you can change a person's life--for better or for worse.
Source: This was e-mailed to me from Bo, a coaching client in Copenhagen,
DK who had received it from a friend in Bangkok --that's what I call
a "global village." It came with the admonition to "pass
it on to your friends," which I just did since I consider all of
you my friends.
MAKE it a joyous Holiday Season, your friend, Wolf.
===================================================
5. HEAR WOLF "HOWL"--I MEAN SPEAK
===================================================
12/11/07 Hartford, CT. "Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel: Innovative
Strategies to Improve Leadership Effectiveness," full day Institute
of Management Studies (IMS) seminar. Contact: Art Muldowney, Connecticut@ims-online.com
3/14/08 San Diego, CA. "Positive Attitude: The Key to Peak Performance,"
AM keynote, and "Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel and Other Contrarian
Ways to Improve Your Leadership Effectiveness," PM seminar; Good
to Best Conference. For details: http://www.chefdon.com/conference/conference2008.html.
11/9/08 Philadelphia, PA. "Achieve Peak Performance by Increasing
Personal Effectiveness," full day Institute of Management Studies
(IMS) seminar. Contact: Joe Paesani, Philadelphia@ims-online.com
NOTE: I have other "in-house" presentations scheduled in
the U.S.A., Canada and Europe. Please let me know if you are interested
to preview me or bring me into your organization at reduced expenses
when I'm scheduled to be in your area. That way we can let you know
when I'm coming your way!
===================================================
6. HUMOR BREAK
===================================================
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took
along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and
commented, "These are very good! You must have a very good camera."
When it was time to leave, the photographer said, "That was a really
delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."
===================================================
7. ABOUT THE EDITOR
===================================================
Dr. Wolf J. Rinke, CSP is a highly effective management consultant and
executive coach who specializes in building peak performance organizations,
teams and individuals. He is the author of 14 books including "Make
It a Winning Life: Success Strategies for Life, Love and Business"
available at www.WolfRinke.com and an internationally recognized motivational
and management keynote speaker and seminar leader who delivers customized
presentations that combine story telling, humor and motivation with
specific "how to" action strategies that participants can
apply immediately to improve their personal and professional lives.
You can preview a live demo at www.WolfRinke.com.
To take advantage of Dr. Rinke's services contact us at 800-828-9653
or WolfRinke@aol.com
===================================================
7. PRIVACY STATEMENT AND SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
==================================================
We will not make your name or e-mail address available to anyone. Period!
If this was forwarded to you and you would like to receive your own
FREE subscription click here.
|
